Ways to Connect with
Death Positivity

When we learn about something we care about, we tend to want to shout it out to the whole world. At least I know that I do.

When it comes to death studies and death positivity, it can be a little weird to talk about at first. That’s fine, nobody’s perfect, these conversations get easier with time and practice. But how do we go beyond conversations with our friends and family? How do we make a greater impact in our communities? After all, isn’t contributing to art, discussions, and innovations a large component of death positivity? There is a plethora of unique ways to merge death positivity with the activities and topics you already enjoy so much, which is up to you to figure out. Here, I have listed some more typical, straightforward ways to connect with your community in a death positive way. I hope at least one of these sticks out to you as something you would like to try!

Guided Nature Walks

This first example may seem a little out of place, but I assure you that it isn’t. Death is a natural part of life, a process which we are all guaranteed to experience through those we love and of course, ourselves. Life and death are all around us, and this couldn’t be truer of nature. Forests, fields, lakes and marshes; all are teeming with a complex, continuous cycle of life.

If you are an environmentally oriented person, guiding friends, family or strangers through a nature walk may be the choice for you. Being death positive isn’t just about focusing only on death, it is just as important to appreciate life in the present. Walking through nature exposes us to life across the spectrum. There are newborn baby birds that must be fed worms in order to survive and there are decaying logs from fallen trees that provide homes for small rodents and fuel to decomposer species. The whole spectrum of life is in front of our eyes in nature. Try taking a walk down a trail you like and taking note of these things, marking areas you would like to stop to talk about and admire. Gather some friends and take them on a walk, talking about your surroundings and relating it back to life and death. This may allow for more “natural” conversation about death as a group, using nature as a comfortable transition into more cultural and personal conversations about death.

Find ideas here:

Blog - A life and death drama on a nature walk

Death Cafés

If you’re still new to death positivity and want to engage in more conversations about death and grief before becoming a leader in your community, this could be the choice for you. These casual events involve caffeinated drinks, snacks and casual talk about death. These conversations typically have no objectives or specific themes, allowing participants to discuss a grand variety of topics related to death. This flexibility may be appealing to you, especially if you find that you are curious but don’t quite know how to talk about the things you’ve been thinking of.

The great thing about death cafés is the freedom that comes with them. If you are struggling to talk about grief with those in your life, maybe it can be beneficial to begin opening up by discussing death in general with strangers in an environment that is non-judgmental. By allowing yourself to practice getting comfortable just talking about death, you are preparing yourself to handle tougher, more intimate conversations about your personal grief with friends and family. Whether you are curious about death as a topic or looking for solidarity as a griever, try to locate a death café near you and attend one of their events! If you enjoy the experience, try hosting your own death café and invite some friends. This leads to the creation of a designated, safe space for talks about death so you and your friends can be open with each other and so you can show them the importance of death positivity.

Find ideas here:

Website - What is death café?

Peer Support Groups

Grief is an intense, emotional experience that needs to be handled with care and attention, from both those around you and yourself. If you are finding it difficult to talk to the people in your life about your experiences, peer support groups may be the right thing for you. The highlight of these groups is that everyone present can relate to your feelings to some degree. Though every experience with grief is unique and nobody’s circumstance is the same, everyone present has experienced the trials and tribulations of trying to process grief in a society that is not equipped with the tools to support you.

For many, traditional one-on-one grief therapy can be helpful in processing their feelings and adjusting to live within their grief as the “new normal”, but this doesn’t work for everyone. For some, this kind of therapy is inaccessible. This could be due to expenses, insurance coverage, or the inability to locate a therapist that works for the specificities of your grief. For example, a large quantity of therapists are upper-middle class white people, who may struggle to comprehend the cultural factors that influence the death and grief of people of colour. Peer support groups are great because not only do they allow you to share, but you are also there to listen. Oftentimes we are better able to understand our own grief from hearing the experiences of others, which can help us to empathize and feel comfortable being open to our pain. These environments provide grievers with a sense of community, since it can be incredibly difficult to feel like anyone can understand what you are going through. These people are here to tell you that you are heard, you are seen, and you are understood.

Find ideas here:

Video – Introduction to The New Normal Charity

Retirement/Hopsice Volunteering

Due to the denial of death in our culture, many people feel put-off by death and the struggles of end-of-life care. This can make the slow (or rapid) process of dying a lonely, painful experience, which is not exactly anyone’s dream for the last bit of their life. The people who spend their time caring for the dying can make an incredible difference in the quality of their end-of-life time. For those who are interested in healthcare or just simply wish to make a positive difference in people’s day-to-day lives, volunteering in retirement or hospice could be the form of community outreach for you.

Retirement homes are filled with seniors who are separated from family and are under-stimulated due to a lack of activity, which can increase the rate of physical and mental decline. Additionally, long-term care homes are in high demand for the ageing population in Canada with a limited resident capacity, so many seniors must settle for retirement home living and are receiving less care than they require. Being a volunteer at a retirement home can come with a variety of tasks, whether that is meal assistance, activity organizing, friendly chats or guided walks. Interacting with the elderly has incredible benefits to mental and physical health; doing puzzles can keep their minds sharp and exercise their memory and problem-solving skills whereas going on walks can help retain muscle motor control. Hospice volunteering is a little different, since these people are definitively reaching the end of their lives and can require much more attention and care on a regular basis. Volunteering in hospice care can encompass many of the same tasks as volunteer work at a retirement home, but also includes support to the families before and after bereavement. This work can be difficult and sensitive but allows you to build the skills required to handle death-related topics with grace and empathy.

Find ideas here:

Article – The pandemic was rough on seniors. These students started a pen pal program to keep them company

Death Doula

Processing the upcoming death of a loved one is already difficult but trying to tackle these thoughts and emotions while providing support and care to your loved one can feel almost impossible. The constant influx of family, friends, doctors, nurses and even lawyers can be too overwhelming and result in excessive levels of stress. For this reason, many people are increasingly turning to death doulas or death midwives to guide themselves and their families through the process of dying and to act as a sort of “mediator” to all external visitors and professionals.

The role of a death doula is highly flexible and dependent on the individual needs of the patient, but there are several responsibilities that are most common. Some of these include, explaining bodily functions approaching death, reflecting on thoughts and feelings, performing specific traditions and rituals as well as assisting in finalizing after-death plans. Being a death doula can be emotionally demanding work, but at the end of the day, you’re doing a service for your community and for the individual families that you are guiding through an incredibly destabilizing time. Death doulas can act as a bridge for those unfamiliar with death positivity, helping them to feel more comfortable speaking openly and honestly about their thoughts, feelings and fears surrounding death. When people are pregnant, there is so much energy put into the preparations by doctors, nurses, birth doulas, family and other professionals, so why can’t this be the same for death? In order to become a death doula, there are several private organizations that offer training and certification programs so you can learn more about the variety of roles you may have and how to be both efficient and supportive. If you find that you are interested in hands-on work in the community and are interested in a career (or volunteer work) related to this more holistic form of healthcare, this could be the route for you.

Find ideas here:

Blog – Five things to know about death doulas

Taxidermy

A key part of death positivity is representing life and death through art, which can commonly be done with taxidermy. Taxidermy is frequently seen as “bizarre” and “taboo” in wider culture, but this can be traced back to death denial and misunderstanding. The aim of most taxidermy is to preserve the body of an animal by stuffing it and often portrayed in a true-to-life state. The aim is not to kill animals with the purpose of using them for taxidermy; taxidermists will often practice with roadkill and then are commissioned by organizations or individuals for their work.

You have most likely seen taxidermy animals used in museums, which are presented in display cases to show the viewer the physical form of these exotic animals they wouldn’t otherwise be able to see. In examples like this, taxidermy can serve an educational purpose. People can learn more about the physical, living world around them in a visual manner, which often helps with the ability to process the information they are given. Besides this, taxidermy can serve a more artistic and personal purpose. It is becoming increasingly popular for people to taxidermy their pets once they pass away as a form of memorialization. Taxidermists are able to make a negative situation into beautiful, detailed artwork. These taxidermy pets can help owners feel connected to their lost pets and serve as a reminder of good memories, much like pet urns, gravestones or memorial jewelry. Taxidermy is an artform that requires a lot of care, practice and precision; if this seems interesting to you, try to reach out to a local taxidermist and ask if you can sit down for a chat.

Find ideas here:

Video – I’m 29 & I Taxidermy Animals For A Living | Refinery 29